The Pre-Christmas marketing tool is back!

You can tell it's the run-up to Christmas can't you?

• It's getting colder
• It's getting darker earlier
• X-Factor is back on television

And apparently this year was to be a shake-up. A new host and a couple of new judges were to spice things up. While Dannii Minogue seems to be trying to out-bitch Sharon Osbourne, Ben whathisname wasn't pulling punches so Simon was 'forced' to call back Louis. Forced? No! All a publicity stunt to try and retain the viewers as much as possible.

Still there are the god-awful wannabe stars (who are ONLY picked to perform in front of the judges so that 'great' television is made (though occasionally it backfires - Cheeky Girls anyone?)) being made to look like idiots - which in my mind is equal to bullying. I wonder how many average singers don't get through the pre-auditions because they're not good/bad enough. If I didn't get passed pre-audition then I'd be happy with mid-table obscurity rather than embarrassing relegation!

Then there's the bootcamps - the homes shown are not the judges but rented for the purpose of making the Judges look good (and possible the wannabes comfortable).

Now we're down to the final 12 - a slagging match between judges (as usual) and pound signs for the winner's head judge (Dannii, as far as I'm aware not being a music manager, is impartial!). Well, pounds signs over Christmas anyway!

Cowells other TV project is much less a marketing tool - Britians Got Talent is rather a TV variety talent show where the winner wins a place at the Royal Variety Performance. So it's shown in the summer instead (as that's when the RVP show is). But it's shown daily over 2 weeks to rake as much phone cash in as possible for the production company. At least on BBC's talent shows (like Strictly Dance Fever) the call money goes to charity.

I wonder what Cowell would do if the winner's single bombed in the charts, because people were going to wait a couple of weeks for the album? No wonder the Christmas number one countdown is no fun anymore! The album countdown is probably much more fun these days!

2007: So far, it ain't looking good!

You've got to admit, it's great when you find out an artist you really like is releasing a new album. There's always that element of the unexpected. Unfortunately, a fair few of my favourite artists have released albums this year that are, sad to say, well below their usual standard.

Jean Michel Jarre followed up the brilliant "Geometry of Love" with "Téo and Téa" - a haphazard attempt at dancefloor-filling tunes that showcased none of the strengths his fans had associated with him. As a result, it was the first Jarre album on a general UK release to not even dent the Top 75 albums!

Marillion returned 3 years after the near-perfect "Marbles" with "Somewhere Else" which I actually found boring! To date, Marillion had never failed to produce an album that didn't grab you by the collar and slap you in the face within the first 15 minutes - when I listened to it on the train, I found myself more enthralled in the newspaper.

Air did really well with 2004's "Talkie Walkie" but, when I heard "Pocket Symphony", I felt no spark at all. Their usual retro charm was replaced with bland and sombre moodiness.

Neal Morse, however, has been on a high ever since he left Spock's Beard and turned into a trailblazing C-Prog Rocker. Although his previous album (2005's "?") was a total masterpiece, his new album "Solo Scriptura" was certainly no disappointment as it displayed the musical chemistry and diversity that made Spock's Beard so good.

That's not to say that there isn't the time or potential to salvage this year:

• Rush are to release their new album, "Snakes and Arrows", next week. "Vapour Trails" wasn't exactly a masterpiece, but even Rush on a bad day is pretty damn good.
• Dream Theater have a new album due out in the Summer which I hope, like "Octovarium", will see its way into the charts - especially given their form over the last 8 years.
• Porcupine Tree's "Fear of a Blank Planet" saw the band make their debut at #31 in the album charts last week. For a band like this to make the charts, I felt they'd either have to have done some sort of Marillion-esque publicity stunt, done a Genesis and sold out, or simply released an album that has made people sit up and take notice of them. I've only played the first half of the album so far, and it seems it's the latter of the 3!
• Coheed and Cambria release Volume 2 of "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV" later this year, which is already being very highly anticipated, especially given the high standards set by Volume 1.

Solo Magnificus!

A review of "Sola Scriptura" by Neal Morse

Always the prolific songwriter, you're never left waiting long for a new Neal Morse album. 2005's unconventionally-titled "?" left me astounded and has been a permanent fixture on my MP3 player since. The album would be a tough act to follow.

My first impressions of "Sola Scriptura" were very positive - it's a good 25% longer than its predecessor (clicking in a few seconds short of 76 minutes) and a lot more complex, but revisiting the structure used on his albums with Transatlantic (long multi-part epics with a short, slow song sandwiched in) makes it digestible and easily to listen to.

Performance-wise, this has to be the tightest of Neal's Christian albums, and it was good to hear the core of Morse/Portnoy/George return for another helping. The chemistry the three musicians have shown since 2004's "One" really is unmissable. In a move harking back to the early Spock's Beard epic "The Light", we are treated to a diverse array of styles, ranging from progressive metal, passing through contemporary jazz with an unprecedented Latin section thrown in to spice things up. Remarkably, and this is a testimony to Neal's talents, the diversity of the styles never comes across as a hodgepodge - there's still a very distinct flow between each section that never loses its coherence.

It is a Christian album, themed on Martin Luther, but don't let that put you off - Prog is prog, Christian or otherwise, and Neal's still Neal... it's just that his lyrics are a lot more inspired these days. If you're not a Christian, you'll still get as much out of it as a practicing Christian would because the music is of a high standard, there's plenty for the average prog-head to sink their teeth into, and does help disprove the myth that all Christian music is nothing but contemporary happy-clappy songs about the glory of God.

The only criticism I have is that it didn't instantly wow me as much as "?" did, but I never expected it to: an average Neal Morse album can still outshine other artists' masterpieces. I was still left convinced that what I'd just heard was a very good album indeed.

Final Rating - 8 out of 10

Too much Air... and not enough Oxygene

A review of "Téo & Téa" by Jean-Michel Jarre

When I started reviewing for this blog, I mentioned that I aimed to review albums that fell outside of the criteria normally associated with Simon Cowell. In the same breath, I never said I would be biased towards artist whom I personally liked and/or admired – I’d always review constructively and without objectiveness, regardless of the artist.

A perfect example of this philosophy is the new album by Jean-Michel Jarre: “Téo and Téa”. I’ve been a Jarre fan for at least 20 years now, and from my point of view, poor Jarre albums are the exception rather than the rule.

Given recent form, following the “game-of-two-halves” that was “Metamorphoses” (2000), Jarre’s been onto a winner. The discreet Jazziness of “Sessions 2000” melded well with the mellow atmospheres of “Geometry of Love”. So, it was with bated breath that I awaited “Téo and Téa”, his first proper release since “Metamorphoses”. I’m sorry to say that what I heard was nothing short of disappointing.

Jarre’s strength has always been his melodies and his sense of atmosphere – his music to date always had the power to transport the listener somewhere only their imaginations could take them, with catchy melodies that had you going back for more. Even after his 2000 re-invention, you could still count on Jarre for a decent melody, which is where this album fails most.As opposed to the highly melodic work evident on his previous albums, “Téo and Téa” comes across as an experiment in rhythmic music laced with sound effects. When Jarre does attempt a melody, such as on the rare highlight “Touch to Remember”, it’s so downplayed that it scarcely becomes part of the music. On this track, the melody is played on a milk-bottle patch that is far less prominent than the rhythm.

The remainder of the album sees Jarre fall into a standard Euro-dance style, focusing more on the beat and bass than the actual content of the song, and while it may be more preferable to most contemporary dance releases, it falls well short of Jarre’s usual standard – to the point where I question whether this is Jarre at all.

I do understand Jarre’s need for re-invention, but with a career spanning 30 years, he’s bound to have picked up a fair few fans like myself: willing to give anything a try, but won’t be pushed too far. I came, I heard, I gave it fair trial, but I just didn’t like it. I can’t say that I didn’t try.

As much as I adore many of Jarre’s works, this album represents Jarre at his absolute worst – it’s almost as if he’s a child playing with the sound effects on a brand-new synthesizer, with the preset rhythms playing in the background – hardly fitting for an artist of such influence.

To put it another way, Tangerine Dream re-found their audience by acknowledging their past and finding a way they can appease both old and new fans alike. Jarre managed this perfectly with “Aero” but, thanks to this album, Jarre will end up losing more fans than he gains. I’ve not lost total faith in his music, but it’ll take something exceptional to make up for this effort.

Final Rating – 4 out of 10

Dove il cielo si nasconde...

A review of "Felona e Sorona" by Le Orme

One of my aims with this blog is to bring attention to albums that are of a superior quality to that peddled by Mr. Cowell - the criteria being:

a) No like-for-like cover versions. Adaptations are welcomed, but cover versions that sound almost exactly like the original are a big no-no

b) Focus on what they put on CD, rather than who they are or what competition they've won

c) A modicum of musical significance. Okay, there are significantly more high-standard albums than bonafide classics, but even an album of a high standard is worthy of a mention.

That brings me to my first review - the album I played the most last year, even though I only re-loaded it onto my MP3 player last October.

Le Orme are a Progressive Rock band from Italy, who were at their most successful during the early-mid 1970's. Italian Prog has made a name for itself as being pretty-much universal, regardless of whether or not you understand Italian, because the music is often of a very high standard and the general phonetics of the language are an instrument unto themselves.

After ditching their beat-pop beginnings and turning prog with 1971's "Collage", Le Orme upped their game and released the highly-recommended "Uomo di Pezza" ("Man of the Cloth") during a very fertile time in the Italian Prog scene. As good as "Uomo..." was, they could still do more. Enter their first concept album, and absolute masterpiece, "Felona e Sorona".

The album is about two planets - one a virtual paradise (Felona) and the other a complete hell-hole (Sorona). Over the course of the album, Sorona becomes more like Felona but, as it does so, their destinies intertwine until both planets are ultimately destroyed.

While that's a very basic analogy of the story, the music speaks for itself. Imagine Emerson, Lake & Palmer, fronted by Sting, without any over-bloated showmanship. That's Le Orme! A wonderfully stripped-down power-trio sound that, at times, sounds empty and basic - but it's very effective. Take for example, the 2 minute-long "Felona" - while the instrumentation is rather minimal (Pagliuca on synths, Tagliapietra on vocals, bass & 12-string, Dei Rossi on drums & bells), the melody itself will have you gagging for more. And that's just an average track!

Over the course of the album, you hear many disparete movements with their limited instrumentation stretched to the absolute limit - concluding with the storming instrumental "Ritorno al Nulla" ("Return to Nothing") that signifies the destruction of the two planets. That's where the album succeeds the most - even the simplest of arrangements can be so effective. There's no pretention about it, even though it's one of those dreaded concept albums, because they take what they've got and give it 120%. When the music calls for calm, a simple riff on Aldo's 12-string works wonders but, when chaos and destruction ensue, the whole band kick into gear and give a trio performance that would even leave Rush in a state of jaw-dropping amazement!

The only downside of this album is its availability - ever since the limited Japanese release went out of print, Italy is the only place you can get it - and very few UK-based retailers supply CDs from Italian suppliers. I recommend http://www.btf.it if you're after the original Philips release as some Amazon Marketplace retailers may be charging you collector's prices for one of the Japanese remasters. A good guide price is about £10 or €15 (incl. postage) for the original Philips release.

Final rating - 10 out of 10

X-Factor in hot water

ITV have admitting overcharging for votes on the X-Factor. Apparently according to Yahoo! News, voters using the red button on their satellite digital systems have been charged an extra 15p a time (votes should of been 35p but ITV charged 50p) making ITV an extra £200,000.00.

ITV have pledged to refund the extra money, and it will also make a goodwill gesture of £200,000.00 to Childline.

See www.itv.com/help for more details if you think you are affected.

However, this is the latest in a long line of TV shows which have been blasted for either overcharging callers or for advertising for more callers even when the competition has closed and there is no chance of winning. Channel 4's Richard and Judy and BBC's Saturday Kitchen have both come under fire in this respect.

Simple answer to not being overcharged/conned in future? Don't use these premium-rate lines! Many programmes also carry details (in small print mind) of how you can enter for free over the Internet. As cable and ADSL broadband system don't carry a dialing tone, users cannot get charges call rates. Deal Or No Deal currently allows free entry via a web-site.

Why NOT to dig deep this Red Nose Day.

Before I go on I have to say I'm not against the concept of helping those people who are less fotunate than ourselves. A lot of good has come out of giving aid to other countries. But what I am against is the way telethons like Comic Relief and Children In Need are less helping other but more helping celebs boost their egos.

It seems to me the purpose of these telethons is to raise shed loads of money by means of entertainment. Up and down the country there are 'dress down' days in Schools and Workplaces (where appropriate and safe) in order to raise funds. Ordinary people struggle hard to raise sponsership money in whatever scheme they are doing. And then later in the day, they get told by some over-paid celeb to pledge more money to the cause so that they can break last-years barrier.

And how much is this celeb pledging themselves? Proberbly just their time.

Even worse, later on there are some X-factor cast offs who are only there to plug their latest single. So they are using a show meant for raising money for other people to get money for THEMSELVES! This is just not on.

Many of these celebs who appear can comfortably pledge a few thousand pounds without breaking a sweat. If all Premiership footballers donate just one weeks wages each third world debt would be significantly reduced. Heck if all the Worlds major sport stars donated a weeks wages I bet world debt would be completely wiped out. Many celebs who appear on 'Dancing on Ice' and the like pocket huge sums themselves while forcing callers to pay for the charities they're 'supporting' (an exception is newsreader Kay Burley who donated her fee to charity aswell - Jade Goody take note).

If you would want to support the third world, there are many more charities around, many who do not make a song and dance (literally) for your support. Try Oxfam, Christian Aid or World Vision, or search the Internet for many more. They'll love you more for it.